Almost six years since I last blogged. And.. I've never thought i'd blog again on this, but since thumb and i chanced upon it, i shall blog.

i'm afraid of losing thumb. it's kinda weird to have this same feeling again, cos i'm pretty sure i felt like that a while ago when i was with m. though i must say that this time, i feel quite different about thumb. i feel more right. Like a better fit. with m, i was happy. very happy, but i think we make better friends, rather than a couple.


with thumb, i just feel very safe, very secure and, sure.


i try not to think about this from a humanly POV. what would God say? i don't know, or i choose not to think about it. my brain hurts.

i'm not quite sure why i'm blogging this (actually kinda lazy to write in the diary) and i know no one reads this, but at least it helps me process some thoughts aloud.

i want to be sure of you and us, thumb. and i'm seriously considering spending a whole lifetime with you.

3:58 AM;

i've moved.!
tis' blog has served me well the past few years, but..

that's the end, scaree-w.

3:17 AM;

TABITHA!

Dont know if you still read this tab, but HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY!

:) thanks for inviting us to your bbq! i think it meant a lot to us, well at least to me. because of the age variance and other stuff, i know that we're not as close as you are to your other friends, but i'm really glad that we can still be a part of your life, and to witness how you have grown over the years!

on a personal note, thank you for being a sister to me! and all the joys and laughter (especially) you've brought into saltshakers all these years. thank you for being real.. for the good times, and the bad. we've come a long way and i hope that we'll still have a long, long way to go :)

for the many misunderstandings, hurts, conflicts, squabbles.. i'm sorry if i've hurt you in anyway, but i'm thankful for the times we've been through all these stuff and have grown. though i dont often say it, but you know that you're a sister i (we) love. happy birthday, tab!

2:28 AM;

been a while since i've blogged! :) i guess i've somewhat lost the interest in blogging, really. i think i'm becoming more private as i grow older. or maybe it's a growing up thing. it feels scary when you dont know who's reading your thoughts exactly!

ANYWAYYY.

i've had a pretty good week of rest and studying! haha sounds contradictory. i've spent a lot of time in school this semester, and i dont really like it.. so i'm glad to be able to snooze at home (though i've had many proj meetings!) and enjoy the comfort of my bed and just being alone to rejuvenate myself. ready to finish the other half of school :) cant wait for holidays already! whee.

at least my week ended up on a high note :) sometimes i feel that it's quite >< to have to do youth stuff (even though admittedly, there isnt really much!), but i think that each (okay, most!) sunday brings me much joy. worshipping together as a Family, playing games, eating lunch, bible study.. fellowship rubs a lot onto me, and i do look forward to spend time with them in a way that i've not quite had the past few years actually. all glory to God, really. cant imagine how these few years would have past without Him. nevertheless, it's still a long way to go, for the youth group, for each individual, and for myself as well. much more seeking to be done, and a constant need to remember that programs are not the most important. life change is.

many of the youths are going through a period of change. some are graduating from uni and poly, some are entering into uni and poly, others have entered the workforce, some others struggle with transitions from primary school and secondary school alike, some are going to serve the nation and yet others are going to be released from army soon. it's a year of changes, transitions, and moving from season to season.. may God watch over each of us and watch our hearts, so that each change be a positive and a good one.

***

talking about the sacred things, i was reminded of the things that i hold very dear to my heart. relationships, friendships and family. in each of these areas, i've experienced having lost things and people.. but God is faithful, He gives and He takes away. i really hope that i will be able to have all things, but possess none. to live with open hands. it was rather awkward to share about him in front of so many people (the circle of trust is big big), but it was necessary to testify to God's goodness in my life.

He never said you'll only see sunshine
He never said there'll be no rain
He only promised a heart full of singing
at the very thing that once brought pain

Give them all, to Jesus.

2:05 AM;

Almost six years since I last blogged. And.. I've never thought i'd blog again on this, but since thumb and i chanced upon it, i shall blog.

i'm afraid of losing thumb. it's kinda weird to have this same feeling again, cos i'm pretty sure i felt like that a while ago when i was with m. though i must say that this time, i feel quite different about thumb. i feel more right. Like a better fit. with m, i was happy. very happy, but i think we make better friends, rather than a couple.


with thumb, i just feel very safe, very secure and, sure.


i try not to think about this from a humanly POV. what would God say? i don't know, or i choose not to think about it. my brain hurts.

i'm not quite sure why i'm blogging this (actually kinda lazy to write in the diary) and i know no one reads this, but at least it helps me process some thoughts aloud.

i want to be sure of you and us, thumb. and i'm seriously considering spending a whole lifetime with you.

3:58 AM;

i've moved.!
tis' blog has served me well the past few years, but..

that's the end, scaree-w.

3:17 AM;

TABITHA!

Dont know if you still read this tab, but HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY!

:) thanks for inviting us to your bbq! i think it meant a lot to us, well at least to me. because of the age variance and other stuff, i know that we're not as close as you are to your other friends, but i'm really glad that we can still be a part of your life, and to witness how you have grown over the years!

on a personal note, thank you for being a sister to me! and all the joys and laughter (especially) you've brought into saltshakers all these years. thank you for being real.. for the good times, and the bad. we've come a long way and i hope that we'll still have a long, long way to go :)

for the many misunderstandings, hurts, conflicts, squabbles.. i'm sorry if i've hurt you in anyway, but i'm thankful for the times we've been through all these stuff and have grown. though i dont often say it, but you know that you're a sister i (we) love. happy birthday, tab!

2:28 AM;

been a while since i've blogged! :) i guess i've somewhat lost the interest in blogging, really. i think i'm becoming more private as i grow older. or maybe it's a growing up thing. it feels scary when you dont know who's reading your thoughts exactly!

ANYWAYYY.

i've had a pretty good week of rest and studying! haha sounds contradictory. i've spent a lot of time in school this semester, and i dont really like it.. so i'm glad to be able to snooze at home (though i've had many proj meetings!) and enjoy the comfort of my bed and just being alone to rejuvenate myself. ready to finish the other half of school :) cant wait for holidays already! whee.

at least my week ended up on a high note :) sometimes i feel that it's quite >< to have to do youth stuff (even though admittedly, there isnt really much!), but i think that each (okay, most!) sunday brings me much joy. worshipping together as a Family, playing games, eating lunch, bible study.. fellowship rubs a lot onto me, and i do look forward to spend time with them in a way that i've not quite had the past few years actually. all glory to God, really. cant imagine how these few years would have past without Him. nevertheless, it's still a long way to go, for the youth group, for each individual, and for myself as well. much more seeking to be done, and a constant need to remember that programs are not the most important. life change is.

many of the youths are going through a period of change. some are graduating from uni and poly, some are entering into uni and poly, others have entered the workforce, some others struggle with transitions from primary school and secondary school alike, some are going to serve the nation and yet others are going to be released from army soon. it's a year of changes, transitions, and moving from season to season.. may God watch over each of us and watch our hearts, so that each change be a positive and a good one.

***

talking about the sacred things, i was reminded of the things that i hold very dear to my heart. relationships, friendships and family. in each of these areas, i've experienced having lost things and people.. but God is faithful, He gives and He takes away. i really hope that i will be able to have all things, but possess none. to live with open hands. it was rather awkward to share about him in front of so many people (the circle of trust is big big), but it was necessary to testify to God's goodness in my life.

He never said you'll only see sunshine
He never said there'll be no rain
He only promised a heart full of singing
at the very thing that once brought pain

Give them all, to Jesus.

2:05 AM;